First Date Tips: A Mistake Most Guys Make
I get a lot of guys who write in to ask
me how to behave around women. Many of those
questions focus on the first meeting or the
I thought I'd devote one entire newsletter
to a concept that I feel is VITAL to understand
if you're wondering how to behave around a
woman you've just met.
A MISTAKE ALMOST EVERY GUY MAKES
I've noticed a KEY difference between the way
men and women act when they meet a "potential
Women usually act in a way that can be
characterized like this:
"You're interesting to me. I'd like to get to
know you better, and we can see where this
Men usually act in a way that can be
characterized like this:
"I am so interested in you that I'm nervous. In
fact, I'm already thinking of you as a potential
girlfriend or wife... or at least a one-night
In other words, women are usually casual and
laid-back when they're first meeting a guy...
But GUYS tend to act like every girl is a
As you can imagine, this creates a lot of
tension and pressure.
And I'm not talking about the GOOD kind,
I'm talking about the kind that makes men
shiver and shake with nervousness, and women
feel uncomfortable because the MAN is acting
I KNOW that you can relate to this in some
The simple solution to this is...
DON'T DO IT.
If you start acting all freakish and
nervous when you're talking to a woman, you're
probably going to screw things up before
they've even had a chance to get started.
Treating a woman that you've just met as
if she very well could be the love of your life
is something you should NEVER do.
Instead, take a very different approach.
My favorite is to ASSUME that every woman
has SOMETHING that's going to annoy me, bother
me, or SCREW UP HER CHANCES with me.
The MAIN reason that I do this...
IS THAT IT'S TRUE!
The fact is that MOST women are NOT
compatible "long term" with most men. In other
words, there if you do get into a long-term
relationship with a particular woman, the
chances are that she's going to have things
about her that you don't like.
One of my favorite Cocky & Funny themes to
follow is "You're screwing up your chances with
Let's say I'm walking down the street with
a girl to have a cup of tea. Let's assume that
she and I just met the night before, I got her
number, and now we're walking from my place to
On the way in the door to the coffee shop,
she trips over the doorway.
I might look at her, shake my head in an
"overly dramatic fake annoyed" way, and say
"This relationship just isn't going to work".
Then, let's say fifteen minutes later she
spills her tea on the table and herself.
I'll shake my head again and say "What did
I tell you about this kind of behavior?".
In other words, I'm communicating the very
OPPOSITE of "You're a potential wife". I'm
saying "I'm so comfortable around you that I
can even make fun of you without caring what
you think of me".
Does this sound a little crazy?
Good. It should.
But trust me.
If you spend a couple of hours having
regular, normal conversation... being Cocky &
Funny, enjoying yourself, NOT trying to impress
her, and generally demonstrating that you could
care less how things turn out, you'll be FAR
more likely to take things further than if you
act as if she might be the love of your life
and you wind up acting so nervous, stilted, and
DUMB that she runs away.
So here it is again... one thing that most
guys who are unsuccessful with women do that
screws things up... one thing to AVOID:
DON'T TREAT A WOMAN YOU'VE JUST MET AS
IF SHE'S A POTENTIAL FUTURE WIFE OR
Instead, lean back. Be cool. Make jokes
about her screwing up her chances with you.
Tell her that she's a nice friend. Assume
that she has qualities that are going to
annoy you, then point them out (in a Cocky &
Funny way, of course).
Don't lose your composure. It can be fatal
if you do.
Most guys don't "get" women.
And, unfortunately, most guys look for
tricks and "pick up lines" when it comes time
to LEARN how to meet women.
They don't realize that all the tricks in the world aren't going to help them if they don't UNDERSTAND what's "going on".
That's where my eBook "Double Your Dating", and Advanced Dating Techniques Program comes in...
...start by downloading your copy of my original eBook "Double Your Dating". It's jam packed with dozens and dozens of my personal techniques for meeting and dating women, and it comes with THREE great bonus booklets that aren't available anywhere else.
Go download it here.
Copyright 2003 David DeAngelo Communications
Inc., All Rights Reserved. Double Your Dating
and David DeAngelo are trademarks of David
DeAngelo Communications Inc.