Initial Conversations With Women
DATING TIPS MAILBAG: Initial Conversations With Women, Not Being A Wussy,
And Other Gems... By David DeAngelo
Just wanted to drop you a line on how my personal story has been going
since I started doing things "your way". I have checked every "girl strategy" out there, you
know the ones, and have to say that your system is the most simple, and most effective one out
there. Your system gives men the start, and allows them to put their own personal touches on it. Then, after some success, (and some failures, of course, he he) we can come back and get even more out
of it. Awesome, man.
I'm 27, and have tried your way starting 2 years ago. It took me a long
time to get "it", but the journey has been incredible. My friends can't believe the change in me, and I am
now helping friends who I once thought were so much better than me. My relationships with women
are so much more fulfilling now than they ever were when I was just trying to "get laid".
I think the one fundamental issue you push, which is so overlooked, is
the idea that a man can be absolutely honest, know what he wants, and get it. There are no tricks
here, this is about being absolutely true to yourself. That is what attracts women to us, our
unfaltering honesty, even when we are afraid that that honesty will push them away. The exact opposite
Buying dinner, flowers, kissing ass, all of that crap is, at its core
element, dishonest. Being cocky and funny, being true to yourself, and acting like a man, is, at core
element, totally honest. I think women really appreciate that, and I think it turns them on in a way that
even they don't understand. I am really starting to get this, and it gets better every day.
Please put out more products, we want them, and have no problem paying a
reasonable price for this information. My several different girl "friends" each hotter than the
next, appreciate this as well. My life has never been so good. Thanks for making it that way, I owe you
way more than the price of your products, of which I have purchased all. God bless you man, you
Your friend, M >>>MY COMMENTS:
Yea, it really is amazing that there is a way to have success with
women... while still being an honest, straight-shooting guy.
A few more comments...
Yes, I know how frustrating it is to go searching for good information on
how to be more successful with women and dating... only to find half-baked ideas from people who
have no clue what they're doing.
And you're observation that buying women gifts, food, and flower is, at
its core, DISHONEST is pretty interesting, too.
Most of the guys who look at my stuff and say "I don't like your ideas
because I don't like to MANIPULATE women" will turn right around and have no problem buying a
woman dinner in hopes that she'll sleep with them.
Well congrats on sticking with it and getting this part of your life
handled. It feels good, and I have a lot of respect for guys who take the initiative to go DO SOMETHING.
Thanks for your email.
Here's one for the history books: David DeAngelo, the Man who made Dating
It's amazing how turned off women are by eager guys working hard to
impress, and how much they love the composed bad boys who refuse to kiss ass. At a party I overheard
a nearby conversation where a guy was talking to a hot girl, basically kissing up to her with
the infinitely boring "yeah, I see what you mean" and "I really identify with that" type responses. I just
sat there with a kind of crooked half-smile, and in a minute the girl started talking to me. I used one of
your best rules, Never Give a Woman a Direct Answer Unless it's No. Before long, this girl was telling
me I acted like a "stone cold psycho" who could "bury somebody in a field somewhere and never think twice". Next thing I know she's handing me her number. Now I have no interest at all in killing people, but it cracks me up that this chick jokes about me being a psycho and then wants to go out.
JC Knoxville, TN >>>MY COMMENTS:
Hey, I never said that women make sense.
You know, several serial killers have all kinds of female "worshippers".
And have you ever noticed how when some crazy dude escapes from jail, they
always find him shackin' up with his old girlfriend?
Now, fortunately it's not necessary to be a serial killer or felon to
attract women (but it doesn't seem to hurt if you are).
Women DEFINITELY don't feel that powerful "Gut Level Attraction" for
"nice, sweet, needy guys".
ATTRACTION is a process that has developed over a LOOOOOOONG time. It's
not something that women think about and "work up to". It's not something that women PLAN.
ATTRACTION happens for reasons all its own, and you can't CONVINCE a woman
to feel it.
You've obviously found success using these "illogical" techniques that I
teach. Good for you, and keep it up. ***COMMENT***
Hi I ordered your double dating series and read through it this
After reading the material it struck me that this just isn't related to
attracting the opposite sex.. it relates to "everything"....like my career, how other men respect me, etc, etc..
Their is only one thing I really want first and that is self respect, and
after that have the guts to be tough, honest, funny and take a chance..
I have been angry with woman for a long time (and I don't mean in violent
way) but more like afraid to go out with them, or blaming them for not being interested in me....
Its been more like confusion about what do they want,, (and then I don't
understand) which ends up in anger,, and then the cycle continues.... I want this war to stop with
myself. (because its me being angry with myself).
I listen to men's pain all the time?and its this confusion (that men
don't understand what woman want), and also poor self esteem.. so they settle for less and end up
being bossed around and poorly treated.......
which ends up as men exploding with anger.........
I want all men to have their manhood back (and I mean in a good way)
treat woman well and bust them when they push our buttons..
I think I may start having some fun too!!!!
Yea, I feel ya, dog.
Here's the scenario:
You're talking to your hot female co-worker, and she starts talking about
her abusive jerk boyfriend who is constantly treating her poorly.
You sit and listen for an hour, hoping that she'll realize what a great
guy you are... and then consider you instead of him.
At the end of the conversation, she stands up, says "Thanks for being such
a GREAT FRIEND", and kisses you on the cheek.
A week later, she's crying because her jerk BF is at it again.
It's not too hard to get mad at women for this type of thing.
I've been there.
I've had girlfriends who basically broke up with me or never got together
with me in the first place... and instead chose to be with guys who didn't treat them well.
But you're on the right track here.
Stop blaming women.
Instead, start learning how to make them feel that powerful ATTRACTION for
Sure, it takes a little effort. But I cannot imagine a greater investment
in yourself and your personal life.
I'm looking forward to hearing a Success Story from you very soon.
I have received your emails for quite sometime now and never did buy the
book but after this weekend I have to get the whole nine yards. You have said not to be
needy and to treat the women like little sister brats. Believe you me it works amazingly. I am
engaged to a 9 and lately things seemed to get a little boring. My girlfriend started acting a little
distant so I thought why not. I didn't tell her I loved her as quickly and quit going for a little kiss when the
feeling took hold. In other words I took two steps forward and one step back. She looked at me kinda funny
a couple of times and then just jumped my bones right on the couch in the middle of the day
when we were expecting friends over for a bar-b-que. I kept the cocky and funny up all night
and through the rest of the weekend. By Sunday night things were going just as hot as when we first
met. Your material kept a fire from dying into ashes. Hope your printing doesn't run out before my
next payday. LOL.
J in Texas
Yea, you'd better get on it...
Even worse than not being able to meet women in the first place is meeting
an EXCEPTIONAL woman and then LOSING her because you're a jackass.
You do her and yourself a favor, and save your pennies for my ADVANCED
Hell, she'll probably buy it for you if you can't.
Even though I don't talk about "relationships" very often, I will say that
the REAL challenge begins when you have one.
Keeping a relationship fresh, fun, and interesting is quite a challenge...
and you're not going to do it if you turn into a Wussy as time goes on.
Good job, man. Keep it up.
***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***
Dear David: You sad, misbegotten, hopeless fool. No wonder you have
such hideous luck with women.
With your philosophy, it's an absolute guarantee that will continue.
Good luck with the sad, misbegotten, hopeless women you are guaranteed to
attract, and that you doom your pathetic, clueless subscribers to attract.
Wow, your sad, hopeless, misbegotten... and REDUNDANT email really put me
in my place.
And what are you talking about "hideous luck" with women? I date the
smartest, hottest, and most interesting women running around on the planet.
Get a life, and call up the Redundancy Department Of Redundancy for some
tips on how to not sound like a dumbass.
DAMMIT! I just broke my own rule again of not allowing any letters from
people who prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that they are a JACKASS within the first three sentences
of their email.
When will I ever learn?
Hi, I have a quick question. I started playing bass because I thought
women liked musicians. that was six years ago. It's true, I do get a lot of attention because of my
skill at the instrument, but I can't seem to hang on to a girlfriend. What are your views on women and
I think you need the answer to a DIFFERENT question.
The question that YOU need the answer to is:
"What are my views on women and WUSSIES?"
...because I'll bet you a dollar that the problem is you turning INTO A
When a guy can't seem to hold on to a woman, the problem is ALMOST ALWAYS
one of the following:
1) He turns into a clingy, needy Wuss at some point during the
2) He becomes PREDICTABLE and BORING at some point during the
So stop doing those things.
And instead learn how to keep the ATTRACTION building and growing.
It's possible, but you must LEARN how.
Stay tuned for more good info.
Oh, and stop committing the two sins that I mentioned above in the
I've been reading your emails for about two months now, and I love your
stuff! Very interesting and enlightening. But I have a conundrum that brings up a good question.
I'm 32 years old, married for 10 years, three kids, suburban house, white
picket fence, 3.2 pets in the house, yadda yadda (The .2 pet is just a pitiful thing, hobbling around
on two legs ...) Kidding. Anyway, I read in an earlier email that your ideas and methods work even
in a marriage relationship, and that you can still build attraction even with someone you've been
with forever. Now, if what I am reading is correct, your core concept of attraction has to do with mystery and anticipation, rather than chivalry and "niceness." Now, this lady has seen me with my pants
down around my ankles with a fly swatter and a jar of peanut butter (figuratively speaking); how can I build anticipation and mystery when she knows me so well? If I try the three minute kiss test
thing, she gonna slap my hand and say "Stop playing with my hair; I just had it colored! Go take
out the garbage! And stop playing with the peanut butter!" Any insight would be a help!
Thanks! D.C. Northern CA
"...a conundrum that brings up a good question"?
She's gonna SLAP YOUR HAND?
And tell you to go take out the garbage?
Dude, you're in major trouble. I've heard of men in your position waking
up with a key part of their anatomy missing.
It's not pretty.
From the sounds of it, you may already be missing some of this
I'll tell you what...
You have two basic choices:
1) Buy your wife some new pants and yourself a new skirt, because it's
obvious that this is what she's expecting.
2) Remove your high-heels, your apron, and your WUSSY ATTITUDE, and
HE-BITCH-MAN-SLAP yourself IMMEDIATELY!
Man, WAKE UP.
I know, I know... I don't like to talk about marriage and relationships.
Again, I just couldn't help myself.
Look, Mystery and Anticipation don't have anything to do with you walking
around with your pants down carrying a fly swatter and a jar of peanut butter.
It has to do with how you communicate with her... how you touch her... how
you kiss her... and how you behave. You obviously need to learn this stuff.
And by they way, what the hell are you doing walking around in front of
your wife with your pants down carrying, OF ALL THINGS, a fly swatter and PEANUT BUTTER?
Sounds to me like there's something you're not sharing with us.
And I'm not going even speculate.
I just started the DVD series, and I can't say enough good things about
it. I can already feel my confidence and self-image improving.
I realized something recently that I'm sure you and a lot of other guys
have encountered. When I talk to my guy friends about girls I'm dating or interested in, they tend to
encourage and push me to action. When I talk to my female friends about girls I'm dating or
interested in, they tend to say negative things about the girl and plant doubts in my head. What do you
think about that? Even though there's no romantic interest between me and my female friends, are
they acting competitive on some subconscious level?
THE ANSWER IS YES.
If you think MEN are competitive, just wait until you start dating more
You will not believe how competitive women are.
A friend of mine pointed something out to me a few years ago.
He said "You know when you go out to a nice bar or club, and all the women
are dressed up, have their hair done, and their makeup perfect? Well they're not fixed up like
that for the men... it's for the other WOMEN."
Now, at first that made no sense to me.
But the more I've paid close attention, the more I realize that it's RIGHT
Women are VERY competitive.
In fact, one of the best ways to meet women is to GO OUT with a cute
female friend (or more than one).
Women are always more interested in a guy who already has women around him
than a guy who doesn't.
This is one of the reasons why so many married guys talk about how much
more often they're approached by women now that they're married...
Female psychology is VERY interesting.
If you think you're feeling confident now, just wait until you get further
into it... and then go out and try some of the things you're learning... and then come back and watch it
That program is like a treasure map, with all the clues you need to find
It has taken me YEARS to really put all of the pieces together... from
female behavior and psychology, to ATTRACTION, to the things you need to do to change your self-image and
shyness around women into comfort and success.
Thanks for the comments. ...and if you're reading this right now and
you're thinking "Yea, that's what I need... to get this part of my life handled", then guess what?
And if you'd prefer to save yourself a few YEARS of trial and error (or
more), and a lot of MONEY and TIME, then I suggest you sign up for my free Dating Tips Newsletter, and
check out my eBook, "Double Your Dating".
It will definitely help you take your success with women to a whole new
level, whether you're just starting out or you already have some success with women.
Go here to sign up for my free newsletter and
download your copy of my ebook, for more than just dating tips.
It'll blow you away.
Dating Tips Main Page
Enjoy this page? Please pay it forward. Here's how...
Would you prefer to share this page with others by linking to it?
- Click on the HTML link code below.
- Copy and paste it, adding a note of your own, into your blog, a Web page, forums, a blog comment,
your Facebook account, or anywhere that someone would find this page valuable.