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Can People Really "Learn" to Love Each Other? October 11, 2003
October 11, 2003
I just saw something fascinating on TV.
Can People ReallyThank you for subscribing to our e-zine from A Cut Above - Online Dating.com.
On the CBS show "48 Hours Investigates" tonight (10/11/03), they are featuring an experiment. The question is whether a hot looking blond lady who has been unlucky in love, and a nerdy psychologist can "learn" to love each other.
The two people on this show apparently have a lot going for them, and yet they have not yet been able to find someone special.
It will be interesting to see what the outcome is, but it reminded me that this is something that confronts many of us who are in the dating world.
Let's talk about this for a minute.
I couldn't help but think, if a hot blond and a Harvard educated psychologist are having a tough time dating, is it any wonder the rest of us can sometimes find it challenging to find the right fit?
Time and time again, in the online personals, I see things like, "Help get me off of this site". At one dating site, there is a standard question, "Where do you want to be in 3 years?". "Not here." is almost a standard answer... lol.
So, how do we find what we are looking for, and still not "settle", in a desire to not be on a dating site in 3 years?
I think there at least a couple of answers to this. Here's what I've realized:
One, is that we need to take the time to get some inner things straight. This does not mean to procrastinate until you think you are perfect. But we need to take some time to:
Define what you want in someone. What qualities can you not live without, and what is a deal breaker?
The other, is:
Do something. Remember that one of Dr. Phil's Ten Laws of Life are that "Life Rewards Action". Do what you can now, while you are doing things to improve yourself and getting your inner game in order.
Just go ahead and do something and see what happens. You can correct as you go along. Remember that having fun should not be a foreign concept.
This amazing game of life can be unpredictable, and you never know what unexpected twists and turns might actually lead to what you are looking for.
Not surprisingly, I have a few suggestions.
I want to say something that will benefit both the guys and the ladies.
Guys, unless you are a natural at meeting ladies and doing the things that create attraction, and most of us aren't, you need to check out what I think is the best source on the planet for dating advice and tips for guys.
Yahoo Personals has gained a great following, and is one of the best online dating sites to search locally.
We really like their "Icebreaker" feature -- It's free to send a short message to other singles to let them know you're interested.
A feature unique to Yahoo personals: Their "Likely Likeables", where you can click to see photos and profiles similar to someone you like.
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